8 Ways To Mend A Broken Heart

Dear God,

If you are listening

I would like to return this defective heart.

It is broken and soaked in sorrow.

There’s this little piece that still beats but I’m sure that it will stop soon.

I would like to have another one?

Maybe one made of steel?

I promise to keep it safe.

I promise I won’t let anyone touch it.

I can’t keep this old one.

It’s full of an infection that creeps through my veins, a bitter infection, that we sweeten with that word: ‘love’.

I don’t want it anymore

if you don’t allow me another I am fine to wander without one.

Such a bother, they are.

Dear God

If you are listening

I would like to return this defective heart.

It hurts and I don’t want it anymore.

I am no stranger to heartbreak. I have had my heart broken many times – usually, it takes a few days – but I bounce back pretty easily. Once in a while “The One” – well the one that I thought was “The One” – comes along, pulls me in, makes me feel safe, and every word she speaks makes me feel like I am floating. It seems that as soon as I extend my hand-to hold onto theirs-because they tell me that they will run to the end of the earth for love. It seems that as soon as I put down my barriers and as soon as I am ready to take off running with them. It seems that that is when they let go.I want nothing more than to run to the end of the earth for love. My heart is wide open ready to receive. We pick up speed, running faster and faster, to explore the depths that she promised. I find myself lost in that addicting affection called “love”.

The nights prior I wake up wet, soaked in her sweet whispers bathed in moonlight, thoughts of Sunday morning kisses-under fresh linen sheets-as the soft morning sun exposes her silhouette. And with sleepy eyes, she caresses me as she tells me about the dreams that will never come true. It’s the way that she is not looking at me this time that makes me realize that she wants all these things….. but just not with me. Once floating, now drowning in sorrow, she lied. She hurt me and not a tear shed as she walks out the door. Unfortunately, I let go to let them in-along with it an expectation of mutual affection and an abundance of love. I expose my tender heart and it is then that they retreat. I get hurt. I always get hurt. So I ask myself how can we live a full life in love? A life where we can safely run towards our lovers, our hearts wide open, and receive. How-if we get hurt- then what can we do to pick ourselves back up and start running on our most passionate path again? What can we do to mend a broken heart?

8 ways to mend your broken heart:

1) Stop thinking about her: We tend to ruminate over a situation or event-picking apart all the things that went wrong and how we can fix them. I realize I can’t change the past and worry about it just makes me sad. So I start saying my mantra. A mantra is a string of words usually gifted to us by a spiritual leader- but it can also be a self-empowerment phrase, a line from a song, or a poem that resonates with you. It is anything that you can say over and over again until you can get her out of your mind. It is best to say this while doing remedial tasks. The point is to meditate throughout your day no matter what you are doing. Releasing all thoughts that do not serve you to calm your mind.

2) Take yourself out: Learn to love being with yourself. Confession: I like going to the movies by myself. I don’t like to recap or talk during-I just want to watch the movie. What do you like to do? Go for a walk-remember to look up from your phone to absorb the entire experience, go to an art gallery, go experience an amazing crafted meal. Once you are comfortable with what you are and what you can offer another, then you can enter into a relationship without needing a person simply enjoying that person’s company.

3) Take an exercise class: Exercise not only releases endorphins and makes you happy but there is a great community within many of the studios that I go to. Barre, Pole dancing, Yoga. The community in these local studios is lovely and it helps to have friends outside of the “break-up” situation that may be consuming you.

4) Social media: You don’t need to block or remove them from social media but it is a necessary thing to remove them from your feed-or you will end up stalking them and wondering why they are not liking pictures that you put up. Asking why they don’t care about you anymore. The cool thing about Facebook is that you can unfollow someone-until you are over them- and then if you choose bring them back into your feed. Let's be honest once you are over them who really wants to see their ex back in their feed?

5) Live and learn to experience the human experience. Take in all the pleasure and pitfalls of this human form. Learn from what you can and give the rest back to the universe. It’s all just a day within a life that is constantly changing. Learn, live, and let go!

6) Time heals all wounds: I know this is cliché but time heals. It may be longer than you think. The minutes may stretch on and seem like an eternity but it takes time. You may think you are over them and then they text you and it takes another month of mantra to get them out of your mind again…..BUT….. time heals all wounds. So occupy yourself and eventually, you will be saying “ex-who??”

7) “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone” I would be remiss and not true if I did not put this one on the list. Hell yes, the best way to get over your ex is to occupy yourself with a beautiful person that lets you know how great you are.

8) Get back in the saddle: Get back to swiping right, date night, and general mingling. She was obviously not The One- but your one is out there. You just have to get up, get out, try a lot of them on. Then one day-out of the blue- you will be walking out of the Rite-Aid and you “accidentally” bump into the cute brunette in a messy ponytail. She’s wearing a knee-length wool skirt and knee high-high heeled boots. She is a writer and thinks you are so funny. She may pull you back in bed and back under the covers because she never wants you to leave her bed-because your body up against her body-is just perfect. She’s out there I promise. Keep doing you and keep moving forward.

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